Welcome to Murder House!
By Murder House | May 27, 2019
Announcing a new real estate website, by New Yorkers, for New York!
Finding an apartment in this city is famously impossible (and expensive). There are too many people looking for affordable, nice places to live, and not enough affordable, nice places to meet demand. That’s where Murder House comes in!
At Murder House, we pride ourselves on being the leading real estate website exclusively for renting and buying apartments where people have been recently murdered.
There’s something here for everyone!
For renters and buyers!
We’ve found an exciting way to get you a great apartment, for cheap! No one wants to live in an apartment where they know someone was stabbed to death, or shot through the eye, or pushed out a window. That’s exactly why we’re selling them! Since nobody wants them, they’re all yours to rent or buy at a lower cost than the market rate. Finally, you can find the dream apartment you’ve always been searching for, and all it took was someone’s life.
A tenant’s death is a time to rejoice. Because it’s a new opportunity to turn over that space! Don’t let your stream of income be lost to the dizzying dealings of body removal, the victim’s family wallowing in your burgeoning property investment, or even waiting for the estate to be completely sold off. By listing your recently-vacated apartment on Murder House as soon as you discover the corpse, you can get a new lessor before the body’s even cold and keep that rent money flowing in!
We get it. You have clients who want to live in a building that historically can keep its residents alive. At the same time, most of the buyers you represent are trying to sell their death trap apartments to respectable tenants who can pay rent on time without getting themselves killed and damaging your property in the process. That’s where Murder House comes in. We’re the professional-looking, elegant real estate website that will make your unlivable hellhole look like a Park Avenue penthouse.
So welcome to the site! Feel free to poke around. We hope you find a new apartment that’s simply to die for.